Sunday, May 11, 2014

One dream ends, a new begins

The journey, not the destination defines us.  I thought the destination would create for me a journey that would carry with it training and fitness to keep me going and motivate me to strive for excellence.  For a while it most certainly did.  You see, I've been one who needs motivation, or a goal to train and maintain fitness and health.  For a long time it was sports.  After sports, I wanted to continue well into my 50's with triathlons and use that as an excuse to keep me training and work hard toward the goal of an Ironman Triathlon. 

Well, let's just say that journey didn't turn out quite the way I thought it would.  I went from training and competing in triathlons at the most fit I'd been in years to the heaviest and most unhealthy I've been in my entire life.  A three year swing of 65 pounds and all the internal craziness that goes with it. 

Now at 50, I realize the Ironman Journey 2015 as it was originally intended is over.  I won't be competing in any Ironman competition in 2015, or likely ever.  Instead I found myself, after a nerve injury to my back and numbness in my foot, going from a weight of 190 in 2010 to a weight of 255 in 2013.  For the first time in my life I could feel my body growing more and more unhealthy so much so that I began to feel sick.  Not the flu, a cold, stomach bug, but more serious things like diabetes, heart disease and all of the afflictions I saw in my clients and others, but not me! 

So, now I have decisions to make on a daily basis.  How will I spend the rest of my life?  How will I spend my next 10-40 years?  Will I live to see my kids marry and have their own kids?  I want to live long enough to see my great grandkids.  At the rate I'm going now, I may not see my own grandkids. 

The Ironman Journey 2015 is now a life journey to live healthy and without fear of all of the old man afflictions so common in our society.  This Journey starts now and never ends until I finish this journey called life.  Hopefully that will be for a long long time!

Monday, March 4, 2013

Day #1..... again.....

I've had a  lot of day one's over the past year.  I'd like to think I am capable of repeating my success of 2010 when I lost almost 50 pounds, got down to a 33 waist again, and was back to my rugby playing weight.  That lasted for about half a year, and then began the slow rebirth of my fatness.  I'm hopeful that the ironman journey is back on.  Time of course will tell.

Today, I arose reluctantly at 4:51am after turning off my alarm and trying to go back to sleep.  I completed my first workout of the week successfully, albeit "wimpily" compared to where I once was. My workouts for the week will be as follows:

Yoga and abs am
weights pm

bike am

Yoga and abs am
weights pm

bike am

Yoga and abs am
Weights PM

Bike am

We'll see!

Monday, February 18, 2013

The dream is still alive!

I saw on the news yesterday, or maybe it was a sports show, about a 72 year old man who completed the ironman in Hawaii.  I'm still not giving up!

Sadly, I can say that I am doing everything I can right now to sabotage that dream.  I'm back to being overweight again.  I went from getting back to great shape and losing 45 pounds three years ago, to gaining it all back and then some.  Today I am the heaviest I've ever been and in the worst shape of my life.  Back problems, and some neurological issues ended my training in the summer of 2011, and unfortunately my plans for the iron man by 2015.  Now my motivation for getting and staying fit has gone bye bye as well.

I am truly starting over!

I may not compete in an ironman until I'm 72, but I need to keep the goal so I have a reason to train.  If I don't, I'll stay like this forever.  We can't have that now can we?

Saturday, July 23, 2011

So Long, Harry....

The recent release of the last of the Harry Potter movies left me with a very bitter sweet feeling. I've seen every movie, and love the story, characters everything. Guess deep down, I'm just a geek at heart after all. We planned it out perfectly. Beginning two weeks before the Friday premiere of the Deathly Hallows part 2, we'd watch each movie, in order, one at a time. We saw part one on Wednesday night, and then went to the Midnight showing of DH2 on Thursday night at midnight. Rather, that would be Friday morning at Midnight. It proved to be a great experience for my family. The highlight of the summer actually. The movie was great, and we enjoyed it as a family which made it even better.

Oddly enough, I found myself sad even before the movie. The week leading up to it, I actually didn't want the movie to come. Now, let me be perfectly clear here: I am not a Harry Potter Geek. I wore no costume to the movie. I don't personally own any Harry Potter attire or memorabilia. I do not partake in any discussion groups, or role playing games involving the story of Harry Potter. My conscience is clear in that regard. Still though, I found myself down in the dumps when I should have been looking forward to the movie and excited about the process. It took me quite a bit of thinking and soul searching to realize what the source of this minor depression was.

The first Harry Potter movie came out in the fall of 2001. My son was two years old, and my daughter was just born six months earlier. Too young to see the movie then, but somehow, in my mind, linked to the Harry Potter series. Of course, they grew up on the books and movies, and when the last movie was about to come and go, I couldn't help but think a part of their childhood was coming to an end. The 10 years of the Harry Potter movie series was such a part of our lives, that it became quite painful emotionally to realize that this was all coming to an end.

I doubt seriously if I had kids, I would have been so attached to the movies. I only read one of the books, and that was the last, Deathly Hallows. If I was a kid, or young adult with no children of my own, I would have enjoyed the movies, but felt no real attachment to them. Instead, with kids of my own who grew up with the movies, and have known them for as long as they've been alive, the movies held a special place in my heart because of what it meant to them.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Oh yea, that's why I hate soccer!

I am a casual soccer fan. The casual soccer fan in the United States becomes a soccer fan about every four years. The World Cup is an amazing spectacle. It brings the entire world (at least the countries that qualify) together, and for a short time there is this sense of, well, togetherness. I'll admit that I was glued to my TV watching the World Cup games in which the USA competed. I didn't really care too much about the other matches, but when the USA was playing, that's all that mattered. Knowing that the USA was being competitive and playing well made it even more exciting. When the US didn't win the cup, it was no big deal, because we weren't supposed to win it anyway. It was fun, and it was enjoyable, but certainly not devastating when we were eliminated. So ended what I thought was my soccer viewing and emotionally connectedness to the game for at least four years to come.

One year later, I happened to be flipping the channels one Sunday afternoon, and stumbled upon the women's world up. "Oh yea, I forgot this was on," I thought to myself. "I'll sit and watch a bit. I've got nothing better to do!"

What transpired was more intense emotion, and one of the greatest sporting events I can recall in quite some time. I just happened to stumble upon the extra time and PK's of the USA vs. Brazil womens world cup quarter finals. It was amazing! I was a soccer fan again, and I was glued to the TV. Not only that, I made sure I was going to be glued for each of the next hopefully two wins for the women's USA world cup team.

See, right there, I should have stopped. I should have known. This is soccer after all. I'm supposed to wait four years before I become a fan again, and here I was one year after the last emotional investment in 2010 doing it all again. However, this was different wasn't it? This was the USA women's team. They are among the best in the world and have a legitimate chance to win this the CUP for not just me, but for the United States of American. After watching the Brazil game, there was no reason to think they wouldn't. They've got this in the bag, and I was going to be a part of it! What was I thinking!

I called my brother at halftime of the final against Japan. "Now see, this is why I hate soccer!" I told him. "We are dominating (the word 'we' is key, in that I am on the team right there in Germany with the rest of the Country). No other sport can have someone totally dominating a game like this, and wind up losing. You watch, Japan will come up with a junk goal and win this thing."

I think I am part psychic. I have this little voice in my head just like Thomas Magnum that speaks to me. I've learned I should never ignore this voice as it warns me of mistakes I'm about to make. The little voice was telling me to turn off the TV and run away as fast as I could. I didn't listen to the voice.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Degenerative Disc Disease or Arthritis???

What is it about medical diagnosis that sound like one thing that mean another? I just had an MRI done on my low back. I had the MRI done because my left foot has numbness in the heel, as well as sharp pain when I extend my knee and foot. The MRI was read by the "specialist" who said Degenerative Disc Disease but no nerve impingment. So, why then do I have a numb left heel and sharp pain when I extend my leg and foot?

Needless to say, I'm at an extreme frustration point in my life. I'm old. That may be all there is to say.